Good Bear Safety Survival Tips: This Can Save Your Funny Canadian Life: Comical, Eh!

Bear survival safety: In the spring as the nice, warm, and fuzzy bears come out of their winter dens, keep in mind that they will be hanging around until the fall time. This is something that should not be forgotten when going into the woods for a little stroll with a bag of freshly baked cookies or heading out for a picnic lunch.

Sleeping outdoors – Many enjoy sleeping under the stars during the warm summer months, but a tent will not keep you safe from bears unless the tent is made out of iron ore. So I suggest that you sleep in your truck or truck’s camper which is much safer than a tent, unless you let the bear in when he comes knocking on your door, looking for cookies after his meaty meal.

Speed – Bears are very fast runners. They are made for speed, so this is not the time to work on your weight-loss program when a 1500 lb grizzly bear is slobbering down the back of your neck. The grizzly that did her best to eat me a few years back, was only about 300- 400 lbs and that was big enough for me. It took sometime for my psyche to heal, eh. Out-running a bear is not much of an option, unless you are running to get into the cab of the pickup truck or car that is only two feet away. A motorbike is no good unless it is running already and you can get it up to 50 km per hour in a hurry, all while looking over your shoulder.  Forget trying to escape on the mountain bike if you rode into the wilds on one, a bear of this size will use the bicycle to pick your hiking boots and clothing out of his teeth afterwards. Remember to keep your head up and your eyes open when you venture into the Canadian wilderness this summer, and avoid tenting overnight in areas that are known as bear country.

With all my helpful tips I am going to have to read a bear safety manual just to go tenting in my big-city backyard. O well, until next time; camp safely, eh.